NEW LEASE OF LIFE FOR CONGRESS AFTER NANCY PELOSI RE-ELECTED SPEAKER
Pelosi with the tool of her office
Just what the doctor ordered -- the U.S. Congress is getting a much-needed, new lease of life, following the re-election of "spry" and "sprightly" Nancy Pelosi as the Speaker of the House.
The elderly but remarkably well-preserved Representative from Ancient Sumeria has been in Congress as long as men have walked upright, and is expected to bring a colorful burst of energy to the House, especially if some of the marsh gas hiding inside her wrinkled folds escapes near a naked flame.
The leathery-skinned politician, who can remember the Carboniferous period in her more lucid moments, has vowed to shake up the hide-bound gerontocracy of the US Congress, which has an average age of 57.6. She intends to do this by vigorously enacting a venerable curse that was carved in hieroglyphics on her former resting place. This was disturbed late in the 19th century by archaeologists recruiting for the Democratic Party.
Kronos, the God of Time, when asked for a comment, responded:
The leathery-skinned politician, who can remember the Carboniferous period in her more lucid moments, has vowed to shake up the hide-bound gerontocracy of the US Congress, which has an average age of 57.6. She intends to do this by vigorously enacting a venerable curse that was carved in hieroglyphics on her former resting place. This was disturbed late in the 19th century by archaeologists recruiting for the Democratic Party.
Kronos, the God of Time, when asked for a comment, responded:
She's my grandmother, so she's actually a lot older than me. Anything she touches will instantly shrivel up and become covered in corpse dust and spiders' webs.
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