14 Apr 2018

VAST INTERNATIONAL COALITION OF THREE COUNTRIES BOMB EMPTY SYRIAN ROOMS


A vast international coalition of nations, spanning the world from Washington to London, over the English Channel to Paris, and then back to Washington again, has taken action to show its opposition to unverified videos of children having water poured on them and crying.

The mobilisation of the wide-ranging alliance was made necessary after the US decided yet again to shit on international law and the United Nations, and then decided "Fuck it! We need some cover. Phone up that hag in London and that f****t in France."

The action mainly consisted of bombing some empty buildings in Syria and going on TV trying to look tough and resolute. 




The attack on the empty rooms and dust-covered windows involved around 115 cruise missiles (costing around $160 million) and some other missiles pictured below:



(President Macron is believed to have used glitterbombs.)

Because the Russians had to be informed of any targets days before in order to avoid starting World War III, anything of value had already been moved out of the facilities attacked. This means that the cost of the damage caused to the Syrian government only amounted to a tiny fraction of the cost of the armaments expended. 

In fact, it would probably have been cheaper and more effective to pay President Assad a million dollars to hit himself on the head with a feather duster.

The main inconvenience caused to the Syrian government occurred when some dogs sleeping in the vicinity of the empty facilities were woken up and then kept barking intermittently throughout the night.

Geopolitics

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