JUDGE USES HOLOCAUST TO FINE UGLY SCOTTISH MAN FOR GRUESOME FACE PIERCINGS

The last time I checked, it wasn't actually illegal for ugly people to have ear plugs and face piercings—although it obviously should be. But a "canny" judge in Scotland has found a way around this glaring omission in the penal code by using Britain's draconian hate speech laws to punish an ugly man for having especially gruesome face piercings.

No one obviously gives a fuck that YouTube personality Mark Meechan—also known to fans as ‘Count Dankula’—taught his dog to imitate Richard Spencer at the 2016 NPI conference. But what really pisses everyone off is that Meechan, who was hit with an ugly stick to begin with, then made his ugly mug even more stomach-retching with a range of piercings that seem to say "You're going to call me ugly anyway, so I'll just make myself even more revolting."

Some people in the Alt-Right who are called "Nazis" are believed to behave in a similarly stupid way by going "full 1488."

Anyway, the wise judge, pretending that everyone was really pissed that Meechan had uttered the phrase "Gas the Jews" 26 times in his humorous video starring his girlfriend's pug dog Buddha, used this as a convenient excuse to hit Meechan with an £800 fine for being an ugly fucker who then topped that off by becoming a human pin cushion.

After he left the courtroom, Meechan tried to claim that the judge's decision had nothing whatsoever to do with how "pug ugly" he was, instead LARPing as a "free speech martyr."

"They’ve tried to portray me as a racist and a Nazi, apparently context doesn’t matter anymore," he whined.

No, Meechan, it's just because you're as ugly as the arse-end of a donkey shitting bullets.

Scottish man without face piercings.