14 Nov 2017

BOXERGATE: SPENCER EMBROILED IN SLEAZY SEX SCANDAL

A 2006 picture of Spencer's "victim"

A sex scandal has hit the Alt-Right after it was revealed that Alt-Right leader Richard Spencer once appeared before a woman in his boxer shorts while on a German summer language course. 

Like the sex scandal currently surrounding Senate candidate Judge Roy Moore, the allegations go back many years, in this case to 2006, when Spencer was a young PhD student on a study trip to Germany. 

Writing in the New Zealand blog The Spinoff, Julie Hill, who was Spencer's fellow German language student at the time and the victim of his boxer-shorts-clad attentions, recalls the incident that occurred after Spencer managed to isolate her in a dark lonely house.
"Spencer and I were both scholarship students and had been billeted out to family homes." Hill writes. "I was staying in Kreuzberg with a performance artist who played violin while wearing a suit of grass but...she was incredibly uptight, so I’d arranged to move houses. Spencer, meanwhile, was living in some old guy’s house in Nollendorfplatz. The old guy was never home and there was a spare room, so when Spencer offered it to me for the night, I snapped it up."
The first sign that something was amiss occurred when Spencer tried to "red-pill" her with proto-Alt-Right talking points.
"We sat at a table in the kitchen, where Spencer told me about a game he liked to play called 'Lesbian or just German?' the idea being that German women were so hairy and asexual that one couldn’t tell the difference...Later, he confirmed my suspicions by going on an unprompted rant about why Mexicans shouldn’t be let into the United States. We fought about this for some time, but trying to argue with Spencer was a lot like repeatedly smashing one’s head into a brick wall, so eventually I gave up and went to bed."
But on this dark and evil night even the sanctity of the bedroom was to be no refuge from the horror that Spencer was about to unleash on her. 

"Sex pest" Spencer unable to keep his boxers under wraps.
"In the middle of the night, the door opened. Spencer was standing there wearing only his grey fitted boxer shorts. Evidently, he’d thoroughly misinterpreted my burning desire to improve my grammar. He said 'hi.' I said 'fuck off.' Thankfully, he did. But from then on, Richard Spencer, or 'Richie Rich,' or 'Richard the Republican,' as I called him behind his back, became my nemesis."
In her article Hill does not mention how she managed to escape from the "house of horror," but over ten years after the incident she is still so traumatised by what she saw on that dark night that she still fantasises about violence against Spencer.
"There is a German word that applies well to Spencer: Backpfeifengesicht. It means 'a face that is crying out for a slap," she wrote with reference to Spencer.
On behalf of Alt-Right News and all our readers, let me be the first to apologise for this atrocity, which robbed a young woman of her innocence and peace of mind any time she sees a pair of grey boxers fluttering in the breeze on a clothes line...


...or hears a song by forgotten 1980s novelty act, Jo Boxers.

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