UNGRATEFUL AMERICAN PEASANTS WHINE ABOUT $600 HANDOUT FROM GENEROUS MASTERS

Cretinous ingrates

America's ungrateful servile population of unwashed truck drivers, toothless farmers, nicotine-stained waitresses, and other low-bred peasants has been griping about an extremely generous handout graciously bestowed on this worthless pile of human garbage by America's noble leaders and political masters. 

Despite the flatulent scum masses getting a generous gratuity of $600 each, these unworthy underlings, in their tawdry baseball caps and soiled and threadbare undergarments, have been showing their usual poor breeding by grumbling about the amount.

The vile hashtag #600IsNotEnough has been trending on hoi polloi social media site Twatter, accompanied by disrespectful imagery like this one:

This more-than-ample amount of cash for the flotsam and jetsam of society that has washed up on America's shores over the past two or three centuries has been included in a bountiful stimulus package that was agreed among America's wise and charitable political leaders and its sagacious and magnanimous billionaires yesterday (21st of December), as reported by rich people's magazine Forbes:

Democrats and Republicans announced that they’ve arrived at an agreement for another round of Covid-19 pandemic aid for Americans on Sunday. The $900 billion economic relief package will include a combination of direct payments to people, enhanced unemployment benefits and funds for businesses.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D., N.Y.) said about the bipartisan financial aid package, “This agreement is far from perfect, but it will deliver emergency relief to a nation in the throes of a genuine emergency.” His counterpart, Mitch McConnell, Republican of Kentucky and the majority leader said, “We can finally report what our nation has needed to hear for a very long time,” and “More help is on the way.”

The clearly dysgenic package includes $600 per adult and child.

This means a family of nine would get $5,400, while a single mother with sixteen offspring could cash out with $10,200!!!

Most of this will, of course, be spent on waffles, soda pop, peanut butter, corn syrup, chewing tobacco and drugs.

Ungrateful prole, recipient of Federal funds, and possible flyover inhabitant

Meanwhile people who prefer fine wines (i.e. those earning over $75,000) will receive less free money, while connoisseurs of single malt whiskies  (those earning $99,000 or over) will get nothing at all.

Luckily the stimulus package also includes $284 billion in Paycheck Protection Program (PPP), most of which will be hoovered up by giant corporations owned by America's aristocratic billionaire elite, thus helping to maintain the social order.