18 Dec 2020

FEARS GROW THAT MITCH McCONNELL'S CHIN MAY COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR

 
Are we heading for the Great Chimplosion?

Mitch McConnell is everything that people love about the Republican Party -- his constant shilling for big business, cozy back room deals with the Dems, and hanging on to his seat in the Senate like a particularly bad case of athletes's foot, are real vote winners, and ensure that whatever the weather, Kentucky voters will continue to back him at the rigged ballot machines. 

Now, however, there are fears that Mitch's heartwarming ability to compromise, do deals across the aisle, and wear two faces may be in danger after it was revealed that his chin -- his most delicate and underdeveloped facial feature -- was continuing to shrink at a faster rate than previously thought.

The latest bout of shrinkage came after remarks by McConnell advising fellow Republicrats to totally support the Electoral College no matter how much voter fraud is revealed:

As reported by archived normie media:  

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is warning his Republican colleagues in the Senate not to engage in an effort to undermine the Electoral College vote that took place earlier this week, reportedly telling members of the GOP in a private meeting that an extended fight over the presidency would cost them support.

“First, the Republican leader heaped praise on Trump’s ‘endless’ accomplishments as he congratulated President-elect Joe Biden during a morning Senate speech,” the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported Wednesday. “Then he pivoted, privately warning Republican senators away from disputing the Electoral College tally when Congress convenes in a joint session Jan. 6 to confirm the results.”...

The fight, McConnell reportedly said, would result in a “terrible vote” in Georgia where two Republicans are battling to keep Senate seats in GOP hands. If the two Georgia seats go to Democrats, Republicans lose the Senate majority and even votes would presumably be decided by then-Vice President Kamala Harris.


But it's not just the GOP's slender Senate majority that could be in danger. Experts believe that if McConnell's chin keeps shrinking at this rapid rate, it will not only be increasingly difficult for him to wear two faces, but the chin itself, as it gets increasingly tiny, might trigger an explosion of Anti-Matter or create a Black Hole that could suck in not only Washington DC but the entire Eastern half of the USA. The downside of this is that it would kill several billion people, making it even easier for Democrats to cheat in elections.

Artist's image of how the "Great Chimplosion" could impact the Earth and create even larger Democratic majorities.

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