U.S. PREPARES TO FLEE FROM IRAQ AFTER "THREAT" TO SPONGE BOB

Despite President Blumpf's windy threats that he would keep U.S. bases in Iraq in the face of the democratic will of the Iraqi people -- expressed in a recent parliamentary vote calling for the removal of all foreign troops from the country -- it looks like the U.S. military is now earnestly packing its bags.

As reported by Metro:

A letter believed to have been written by William H Seely, Brigadier General of the US Marine Corps said to Iraqi military boss Abdul Amir said: ‘We respect your sovereign decision to order our departure.’ The letter laid out US coalition plans to ‘reposition forces over the course of the coming days and weeks to prepare for onward movement.’ It outlined how there will be ‘an increase in helicopter travel’ in and around Baghdad as the US and its allies withdraw from the country ‘in a safe and efficient manner.’

Here is the letter:

Yes, it's genuine (or at least as genuine as most of Blumpf's campaign promises).

It is not yet known why America made such a drastic U-turn just hours after Trump made the following comments aboard Air Force One as he returned to Washington after spending the holidays at his Florida resort, Mar-a-Lago:

"We've spent a lot of money in Iraq. We have a very extraordinarily expensive air base that’s there. It cost billions of dollars to build... We’re not leaving unless they pay us back for it...We will charge them sanctions like they’ve never seen before ever. It’ll make Iranian sanctions look somewhat tame."

One possible explanation for this sudden change of heart was because of comments made by a top Iranian cleric, Shahab Moradi, on Iran's IRIB Ofogh channel. 

In the comments the popular cleric appeared to threaten an attack on the popular American animation character Sponge Bob.   

"In your opinion, if anyone around the world wants to take their revenge on the assassination of Soleimani and intends to do it proportionately in the way they suggest — that we take one of theirs now that they've got one of ours — who should we consider to take out in the context of America? Think about it. Are we supposed to take out Spider-Man and SpongeBob? They don't have any heroes. We have a country in front of us with a large population and a large landmass, but it doesn't have any heroes. All of their heroes are cartoon characters — they're all fictional."

We don't advise jumping to any conclusions here, but the timeline is as follows: 

--> The Iraqi parliament votes for US forces to leave Iraq

--> Trump says we're not leaving unless you pay us billions 

--> Iranian cleric talks about assassinating Sponge Bob 

--> U.S. military sends letter to the Iraqi government saying "Please be nice, our bags are packed."

Moments like this is why the Clown World meme exists.

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