SOON POD-DWELLING INCELS WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO JERK OFF PROPERLY

In the future we will all have to live in pods, eat bugs, and drink soy. Practically all of us will be unable to socialise (this will be reserved for the elites). 2020, with its lock-downs, travel restrictions, and mask wearing, has brought this humiliating Hell-world alarmingly within reach. and with constantly mutating Coronaviruses, there is literally no end in sight.

The only thing really keeping a lid on this dystopian nightmare is the easy availability and great variety of porn. This allows billions of frustrated young men to curb their natural aggressive impulses by having a pleasant wank with the sordid video material of their choice.

Now, however, it looks like the evil elites who run our world have decided to attack our porn with a devastating new bill that will turn "free-thinking" porn sites like Pornhub into gelded pay sites with tame, woke, and totally unstimulating content.

Senators from both of the US parties have introduced a bill that seeks to impose sweeping new regulations on sites, platforms, and apps that host adult content.

As reported by tech site Ars Technica:

Sens. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) and Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) on Friday introduced the Stop Internet Sexual Exploitation Act, which they described as "groundbreaking legislation that would require all online platforms that host pornography to put in place critical safeguards to protect Americans from sexual exploitation online."

The bill creates sweeping verification guidelines for any site that hosts adult material: any user who uploads material to such a site would have to verify their identity with the site, and every single video posted would have to come with a signed consent form from every individual who appears in the video. All pornography platforms would also be required to disable downloads of videos they host.

Sites would also be required to post instructions for how to have a video removed from the site for any individual who did not consent to appear in a video and wants it taken down. Additionally, platforms would be required to operate a 24-hour hotline for individuals and law enforcement to use for requesting takedowns, and videos flagged to that hotline would have to be removed within two hours of the call. Anyone who indicates to a site owner that they do not consent to appearing in a specific video would also have to be added to a database that effectively makes a "do not upload" list, and any new material would have to be checked against that list before appearing on a platform.

In practice this would mean much higher costs for a site like Pornhub, destroying its present fragile business model. This depends on finding the tiny percentage of people hidden in the general wanking population who are willing to pay for Shrek porn.

While Shrek porn will continue to flourish, the new legislation means that a lot of the kinky, hardcore, and foreign content on Pornhub and similar sites will no longer be available because it will be too difficult to confirm consent due to identification issues and translation costs.

Also porno actresses, practically all of whom got a one-time cash payment at the time of filming, will start demanding continuous payments and indeed royalties for every chicken choking session they inspire.

Typical Pornhub user in his darkened "wank cave"

Already, even without being passed, this new bill has had a devastating impact on Pornhub. The free porn provider has been pre-censoring much of its encyclopedic content, and has reportedly deleted millions of user-uploaded videos from its platform over fears that it could be hosting underage, non-consensual, rapey, and other unlawful content.

"As part of our policy to ban unverified uploaders, we have now also suspended all previously uploaded content that was not created by content partners or members of the Model Program," Pornhub said in a company blog post. 

The purge appears to have hit over 9 million of the 13.5 million videos on Pornhub, or around two-thirds of all the content hosted on the site.

According to other reports, it is also becoming more difficult to do race-specific searches on the site.

Porn industry expert and YouTuber Luke Ford called Pornhub an "open sewer running down mainstreet" on a recent live stream and told Trad News:

What is striking about the government's reaction to hardcore porn so far is its lack of inclination to regulate. This cannot continue. Working conditions, for example, on porn set have virtually no regulation while working conditions on regular movies are heavily regulated.

This proposed legislation will see a dramatic drop in "wankability" on sites like Pornhub, possibly leading to a resurgence of printed material or even crude drawings of fannies being distributed by a criminal networks.

But with a lot less wanking going on, there could also be a sudden uptick in male aggression, especially among the wank-pacified beta-male masses, which, in turn, could trigger the long awaited beta-male uprising.

It seems that the historical law of "unintended consequences" is about to make another appearance.

Coming for your cummies: Senator Merkley