PLASTIC FACE THING TELLS TRUMP TO KEEP OCCUPYING SYRIA

A strange entity -- half composed of plastic and half (de)composed of mouldy human flesh (much of it relocated from its skanky ass) -- has denounced President Trump's decision to partly withdraw a tiny number of U.S. forces from Syria. 

Known only by the meaningless syllable "Cher," the Plastic Face Thing seems to exist somewhere in the Twittersphere and the CD bargain bin in supermarkets, but often chooses to offer its hysterical opinions on the events of the day. 

It it's latest tweet, the semi-melted entity claimed that Trump is directly responsible for someone getting killed thousands of miles from America, even though no drones were involved in the incident.

One theory for the Plastic Face Thing's constant unwanted twitterings is that it used to be what is known as a "pop star" that existed in the now forgotten era of the 1960s. This was a time when Giant Boomers roamed the Earth, using their long necks to strip the trees of foliage and their massive feet to create enormous fields of mud called "Vietnam" and "Woodstock," as they rent the air with their ululating cries.

Fans of the Plastic Face Thing responded to her comments by clearing out their attics and lovingly throwing her records onto yard fires to create likenesses of her face in melted plastic.

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