LITTLE MAMBA SAFE AFTER KOBE CRASH

Little Mamba is understood to be sedated.

Following the tragic helicopter crash, in which basketball legend Kobe Bryant and a number of other people travelling with him died, including one of his daughters, it has been revealed that Little Mamba, the star's puppet alter ego, has luckily survived. 

At the time of the accident, which occurred in foggy weather, possibly caused by climate change, Little Mamba was travelling to the same location by limousine. This was due to a fear of flying connected to an incident in which he inadvertently viewed the 2006 Samuel L. Jackson thriller "Snakes on a Plane."

"Snakes on a Plane" - traumatic

The lilac-coloured serpent most notably co-starred with Bryant on the TV show "Canvas City," where many critics think the penile-shaped puppet stole the show from the 6'6" former Laker's star. 

It is now hoped that Little Mamba, whom Christian evangelicals once accused of being a "Satanic dick monster," will now step into Bryant's shoes, and continue endorsing the many multi-million-dollar products that Bryant once endorsed, like Nike shoes, McDonald's hamburgers, and Sikorsky helicopters, all of which have extremely proactive "affirmative action" hiring programs.

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