TRUMP'S EXCITING NEW MIDDLE EAST PEACE PLAN UNVEILED

After centuries of conflict and terrorism, peace in the middle East is finally at hand, after President Trump unveiled his brilliant Peace Plan (detail above) on Twitter. 

Using a network of "special" roads and underground "tubes," tunnels, wires, time travel portals, and pieces of string, the Plan, which has been rightly dubbed "The Deal of the Century," aims to connect up hundreds of tiny, badly-located Jewish settler enclaves, while isolating the Palestinians from the outside world.

No, it's not a map of the coronavirus
outbreak. This is what peace looks like.

The Plan, which is thought to be mainly the work of Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner, is the most perfect example of gerrymandering yet known to man, and is almost certain to have Palestinians and Israelis living cheek-by-jowl in perfect peace 'n' harmony.

This is because a key part of the Plan involves giving both groups, Jewish Settlers and Palestinians alike, special "goggles" that have been designed to filter out the existence of the other group. 

This means that even though they will occupy overlapping territory and may even live in the same houses, there will be absolutely no chance of them seeing each other. 

Palestinian and Israeli living together in perfect harmony 
thanks to special "ethnic cleansing" glasses.

Soothing aromatherapy will also be used to create a range of passive and quiescent moods in the two populations, intensifying the "peaceful coexistence" experience.

An additional bonus of the plan is that the intricate borders and special access routes will create fascinating patterns that can best be enjoyed from space. 

Access route to a Jewish kibbutz located in the middle of Hebron.

Now, where's that Nobel Peace Prize for Mr. Trump?

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