SPENCER GOES INTO DOPAMINE REHAB IN COLD TURKEY TWITTER WITHDRAWAL

Alt-Lite leader and "ironic" President Biden supporter Richard Spencer has vowed to break his pathetic dopamine addiction of constantly tweeting for "likes."

In a tweet today, Spencer, who was once a fresh-faced young man who liked skiing and toga parties, said "How dare you Twitter, you have stolen my childhood!"

Spencer's habit of angrily tweeting about U.S. micropolitics every five seconds in a desperate quest for more dopamine hits is believed to have turned the former college football player into a worthless fat slob hunched over a keyboard, or else a greasy-fingered smartphone user, blindly missing passing trucks and falling pianos as he wanders around in a "tweeting bubble," oblivious to his immediate surroundings.