JURY STILL OUT ON "EXISTENCE OF GOD" AFTER CHRISTIAN BOXER K.O.s CHRISTIAN BOXER
Theologians around the world were left scratching their heads yesterday after a boxing match to decide on the existence of god ended in a confusing tie between Christianity and Atheism.
Before the heavyweight title fight it was hoped that the slug-fest would resolve for ever one of the pressing questions of the ages, namely whether a big hairy man lives up in the sky with infinite powers and an army of angels, chrubim, and archangels, or whether that was just some BS made up by ancient Jewish sunstroke victims.
Unfortunately both fighters in the encounter turned out to be Christians, meaning that no theological clarity could be achieved by the result.
The winner, Tyson Fury, although a Gypsy, does not worship tea leaves, lucky heather, or crystal balls, but instead professes faith in "Our Lord Jesus Christ" and wears Christian-themed headgear like this trucker cap that he donned immediately after his 11-round victory:
Before the heavyweight title fight it was hoped that the slug-fest would resolve for ever one of the pressing questions of the ages, namely whether a big hairy man lives up in the sky with infinite powers and an army of angels, chrubim, and archangels, or whether that was just some BS made up by ancient Jewish sunstroke victims.
Unfortunately both fighters in the encounter turned out to be Christians, meaning that no theological clarity could be achieved by the result.
The winner, Tyson Fury, although a Gypsy, does not worship tea leaves, lucky heather, or crystal balls, but instead professes faith in "Our Lord Jesus Christ" and wears Christian-themed headgear like this trucker cap that he donned immediately after his 11-round victory:
This would clearly have been a great result for Jesus if Fury's opponent Deontay Wilder had been a fedora-tipping atheist like Richard Dawkins, a cat-stroking Devil worhipper like Styxhexxenhammer666, or even a toga-lifting Apollonian like Richard Spencer:
But, unfortunately for the Christian camp, the defeated Deontay is also a Christian!
So, the crushing victory of Tyson Fury ultimately proves nothing in the great theological debate that has been raging for centuries.
If anything, Wilder might even be more Christian than Fury, if that were possible, as he is the son of a preacher man from the Deep South, whereas Fury comes from the "trash-talking" Irish Travellers culture of the British Isles.
In fact, here is Deontay chilling with the Pope, so his Christo cred is definitely "punching above its weight":
Although a great night for boxing, the result of this heavyweight bout leaves the world on the horns of a deep theological dilemma, namely:
"Should we all get off our tits on coke and hookers in the knowledge that there is no afterlife in which to be punished, or had we better live in fear of the Grim Reaper and the torments of Hell stored up for us if we should ever stray from the paths of righteousness?"
"Should we all get off our tits on coke and hookers in the knowledge that there is no afterlife in which to be punished, or had we better live in fear of the Grim Reaper and the torments of Hell stored up for us if we should ever stray from the paths of righteousness?"
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