KIM GRANTS TRUMP PERMISSION TO SHRINK BLOATED U.S. EMPIRE WITHOUT LOSING FACE

In an historic meeting in Singapore, North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un magnanimously granted US President Donald Trump permission to shrink the bloated and overextended American Empire without losing face. 

The two leaders met for several hours and pretended to discuss many topics in what was actually a staged photo-op to launch a deal that had been carefully worked out beforehand in order to spare the feelings of American voters and calm investor sentiment.

Under the terms of the historic deal, North Korea will give up easily replaceable nuclear weapons in return for American forces ultimately leaving its bases in South Korea and Japan never to return, something that will greatly please the rising world power of China. 

At present, the debt-ridden US Empire keeps around 30,000 military personnel in Korea with an additional 50,000 in Japan, at great expense to the hard-pressed US taxpayer, who also continues to pay a fortune for the kind of health care that is free in many more economically developed countries.  

To simply withdraw US military forces from North East Asia while appearing to get nothing in return, would not only have been a humiliation for any US President, but could quite easily have caused an economic meltdown.

Due to the extreme indebtedness and underlying financial weakness of the America Empire, it is vital for it to have a big, brash image in order to inspire fake confidence among investors.

This means that the US is extremely limited in what actions it can take, even when they would improve the country's extremely mismanaged balance sheet. Pulling out of Asia unilaterally to improve "underlying fundamentals" would have damaged America's image with holders of US bonds and dollar currency in Asia and elsewhere, and could easily have precipitated a financial crisis.

In order to avoid this, and provide a face-saving compromise for the weak US government, North Korea has kindly been developing nuclear weapons in recent years in order to create a situation in which both parties can appear to "give up" something. This has been done to create the illusion that inevitable US withdrawal from Asia is a "foreign policy success," to avoid panicking the overburdened US debt markets.

The American people, as they get used to downsizing their bloated and harmful imperial role in the world, must remember to be extremely grateful to Comrade Kim for facilitating this humane and face-saving solution to American decline and imperial shrinkage.