GINGER PRINCE TO MARRY "ETHNIC" BRIDE IN DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO UNIFY MULTICULTURAL BRITAIN

In a desperate attempt to unify an increasingly divided and fractious, multicultural Britain, Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth's ginger-haired grandson, has been tasked with marrying an ethnic minority woman. 

The woman in question is African-American, Meghan Markle, a well-past-her-sell-by-date divorcee, who, at 36, is three years older than Harry, who doesn't have a proper job and is technically a NEET. 

The bride-to-be was formerly married to a US movie producer for two years, but they divorced due to "irreconcilable differences," which probably had something to do with his casting couch duties in Hollywood. Markle herself is a bit-part actress and is known to have had several boyfriends.

Harry's future bride before she started
 using hair-straightening products.

Although it is laudable of Prince Harry to marry a burnt-out 36-year-old cougar, who has been riding the cock carousel for decades, in order to get a bit of "diversity" into the "hideously White" and "heavily German" Royal Family, Markle is a poor choice as she lacks a "high ethnic quotient." 

Although born to a White father and a Black mother, her mother was a university professor, which means she probably had a considerable amount of White blood too. Ms. Markle is therefore genetically much Whiter than Black, and "presents" as near-White with her rather fine features, artificially straightened hair, and Miss-Selfridge-tier fashion choices. 

Although it is unlikely that she will be able to easily produce many children with her burnt-out, 36-year-old ovaries, any offspring that ensue will be even Whiter than her, losing the whole point of marrying an ethnic, which is to make the Royal Family look truly diverse -- all the better to represent multicultural Britain. 

Harry would have been better advised to have married one of these:

Personally I'd go for the one in the middle, despite the heavy use of make-up, which is never a good sign...

But the bottom line here is that this marriage will satisfy no one. Purists who think the Royal Family should only marry fellow Germans will be incensed. But at the same time progressives who think the Royal Family should reflect the "rich diversity" of multicultural Britain -- rather like the police force -- will also be deeply disappointed that the Prince is wedding such a Whitish non-White, and also one that is likely to have few if any children. 

As for Britain's ethnic minorities, they will continue to see the Royal Family as White people, while many of them will continue to feel alienated, hateful, and resentful against Britain -- but not enough to leave.