LABOUR'S LATEST SICK PLAN TO WIN U.K. ELECTION INVOLVES DOGS

Canine coup d'etat

Just when you thought Britain's Labour Party couldn't get any lower -- in the polls as well as in the moral and ethical sense -- it seems that they can. Reports are now emerging that the party is literally "going to the dogs" with a sick plan to use millions of "vote dogs" in a desperate attempt to sneak Jeremy Corbyn into 10 Downing Street and avoid a Boris Johnson Tory-Brexit landslide.

Trad News has done its own research on this story and discovered a secret conspiracy being spread on Twitter under the sinister hashtag #dogsforLabour. According to this devious scheme, Labour activists up and down the country intend to dress up their dogs as voters and then send them out into the nation's voting booths to put their mucky paw prints under the names of Labour Party candidates. 

As part of this twisted plot the Labour Party has also carefully selected most of their candidates for this election to look like plates of mystery dog meat...

The Labour candidate for Norwich South

....offal stolen from the butcher's shop...

The Labour candidate for Aylesbury

...or the rear end of a bull mastiff...

The Labour candidate for Hackney North and Stoke Newington 

Another part of the plan involves using electric shocks to train innocent puppies to attack Conservative and Brexit party literature and to urinate on the shoes of anyone intending to vote for Boris Johnson.

One can only imagine the sheer amount of voltage needed
 to train this poor animal to behave in this unnatural way.

However there is one fatal flaw in Labour's evil plan: voting in Britain is still by secret ballot and most dogs are genuinely worried about the rising tide of immigration from "dog hating" Muslim countries, which the Labour Party plans to increase with their insane open borders immigration policy.  

Once in the privacy of the voting booth, most dogs are sure to remember that and make the right choice.

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