"PUSSY-BOY PUTIN" TERRIFIED OF TINY HARMLESS MICRO-ORGASM AT "SURRENDER TALKS" WITH SMALL FRENCH PRESIDENT

People have probably been wondering about the extremely long table used by Russian President Vladimir Putin in his recent "surrender discussions" with French President Emmanuel Macron. But those of us who know what a cowardly, lily-livered, yellow-streaked, safety-blanket-clutching cry-baby that Putin is were not surprised in the least.

Yes, it turns out, Putin was filling his pants with "Russian chocolate," because he was terrified of catching the almost completely harmless Omicron variant of the Covid virus from the French President. The French President, meanwhile, had refused to have a Covid test because he was quite sensibly worried about Putin's scientists getting hold of his valuable DNA and cloning him.

According to Reuters:

French President Emmanuel Macron refused a Kremlin request that he take a Russian COVID-19 test when he arrived to see President Vladimir Putin this week, to prevent Russia getting hold of Macron's DNA, two sources in Macron's entourage told Reuters. [...]

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov confirmed that Macron had declined the test and said Russia had no problem with this, but it meant that a 6-metre (20 feet) distance from Putin was required in order to protect the Kremlin leader's health. [...]

"The Russians told us Putin needed to be kept in a strict health bubble," the second source said. 

Yes, Pussy-boy Putin, terrified not only of little Emmanuel Macron, his own shadow, and sudden gusts of wind, but also living in total fear of a microscopic organism that regularly gets its lunch money stolen by all the other microscopic organisms in the playground!!!

No wonder Russia is surrendering to the French by not invading the Ukraine.