MAN WHO RULES LARGE SWAMPY FOREST ANNEXES TWO MORE PIECES OF SWAMPY FOREST

"If it's swampy and it freezes I want it."

A small man with puffy cheeks who rules a large swampy forest that freezes for seven months every year has just annexed two more pieces of swampy forest that freeze for seven months every year. 

He has also threatened to invade another larger piece of swampy forest next door. 

Unfortunately for the small man with puffy cheeks, he did not get permission from more important and better drained countries before annexing the two pieces of swampy forest that freeze for seven months every year. This means that his action is the metaphorical equivalent of making a shit sandwich live on TV and then eating it while pretending to love the flavour. 

It is not yet clear how the other people who live in the large swampy forest that freezes for seven months every year feel about the actions of their leader with the puffy cheeks. Many of them want to continue selling their marsh gas to the more important and better drained countries with fewer trees. Also, the richer ones among then have invested most of their money in the more important countries, and might now lose some of it because of their small puffy leader annexing two more pieces of swampy forest. 

It is also not clear what the leaders of the more important and better drained countries will do. They disapprove of the small man with puffy cheeks annexing more bits of swampy forest, and would like to see them returned to their original owner so that they can be drained and have a few trees removed sometime in the future. 

The annexation of the two pieces of swampy forest that freeze for seven months every year took place in a large room that was built to look like it wasn't built anywhere near a piece of swampy forest or indeed anything that freezes for seven months of the year, but definitely is.