HALF-NAKED MAN SENTENCED TO 3.5 YEARS IN JAIL FOR TRYING TO KEEP WARM IN LARGE, DOMED PUBLIC BUILDING

A man has been sentenced to three-and-a-half years in prison for trying to stay warm in the middle of Winter. 

Jacob Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman, was sentenced to 41 months in federal prison on Wednesday (17th) for his actions in Washington DC on the 6th of January. 

Chansley was nearly naked at the time of his supposed offence, as temperatures in the capital hovered just above freezing. 

Taking advantage of a pro-Trump rally that was taking place at the time, Chansely was able to temporarily escape the icy cold by entering a large domed public building with central heating. Unfortunately this led to Chansely being mistaken for the leader of a "terrorist conspiracy" aimed at overthrowing the government and installing Trump as dictator.

The reason why Chansley was wandering around half naked in the middle of Winter has not yet been ascertained, but the experts believe the most likely reason was extreme itchiness resulting from his many tattoos.

A tattoo is most susceptible to itchiness when it’s fresh, but itchiness can also happen with old tattoos. Infections and allergic reactions to the ink are two of the main causes. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, an allergic reaction can occur right away or even several years after getting a tattoo. As a result, the sufferer might have severe itching along with redness and hive-like bumps.

Older tattoos can also cause the onset of the autoimmune condition Sarcoidosis even decades later. This is known to cause extreme itching and inflammation.

These are exactly the kind of symptoms that can lead a man to rip off most of his clothes in the middle of Winter. It is sad to see that in modern-day America suffering from an illness like this is now regarded as a crime.