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A bumbling British man, whose anonymity we will respect by simply calling him "Boris Johnson" (a fake made-up name), yesterday misplaced the Brexit and was unable to produce it before a packed House of Commons. 

"I had it when I left Brussels the other day," he stuttered as he rubbed his head, "but I think I must have left it in my other trousers."

Another possibility is that he actually had the Brexit on him when he entered the House of Commons but that it slipped out of his pocket when he sat down, and fell into the crack in the upholstered leather bench on which he was sitting with his friends.

"I remember that it was quite noisy in there with everyone yammering away about something," he recalled later, "so it's quite possible that it slipped out there."

The man apologised to all the people whose Saturday he had ruined and promised to go and have a "root around" for the Brexit and bring it with him "for sure" next week. 

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