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THERESA MAY MISTAKEN FOR GIANT COW AS SHE TOURS BRITAIN TO SELL HER "STILLBORN" BREXIT DEAL


British Prime Minister Theresa May has been mistaken for a giant cow after she embarked on a whirlwind tour of Britain to sell her shit Brexit plan. 

The confusion happened after reports of a genetically modified giant cow in Australia merged in the public consciousness with the crappy details of May's particularly unsatisfactory deal. 

The deal includes something called the "Northern Irish backstop," which effectively gives an open-ended veto to the EU on all future UK trade arrangements, up to and until the UK and EU agree a final trade arrangement. 

This is rather like giving a mugger your loaded gun, while you sit down to discuss the contents of your wallet. 

Because of this disastrous clause and May's insistence that this is the final deal available,  it is almost certain to be voted down in the House of Commons in a vote scheduled to take place in early December. In fact, it looks like May's Brexit plan will lose by a two-to-one margin as Tory rebels combine with the united opposition parties to vote the plan down. 

Bullshit levels about to get toxic.
After that it will be very hard for May to remain in power, and she could well be "put out to grass." However, being a woman,  May is held to a much lower standard of "political success" than a male politician would be, so she could even try to continue in power without parliamentary backing for her Brexit plan. 

If that happens then anything is possible. She might try to go back to Brussels to renegotiate the plan, or she might try to press through a new national referendum on Brexit, as many "Bremainers" hope. 

If she steps down as leader, then there will be a leadership contest within the Conservative Party, leading to the election of a new leader 

Yikes! This is what could
come through the cracks.
Many analysts expect that is such a case Boris Johnson would become Prime Minister, but this is not at all certain, as many  "Bremainers" and May loyalists would be reluctant to vote for him. In such a case, there is a very real possibility that someone like Michael Gove could be elected as party leader and thus Prime Minsiter. 

This would not be the first time something like this has happened in the Conservative Party. In 1990, the unlikable compromise candidate John Major became PM instead of the more charismatic Michael Heseltine who had "alienated" a large part of the party by helping to bring down the previous PM Margaret Thatcher.

Whoever emerges from such a contest would then also try to either negotiate a new deal with Brussels, force through another national referendum on Brexit, or simply go for a "No Deal" Brexit. 

What is least likely to happen is a General Election because the Conservative Party is extremely unwilling to take the hit in unpopularity that this Brexit mess has generated. 


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