CABINET RESHUFFLE: REVOLVING DOOR APPOINTED NEW BREXIT MINISTER AS MINISTERS QUIT

Thirty-two hours after Dominic Raab resigned as Brexit Secretary, embattled British Prime Minister Theresa May has managed to find a replacement who is willing to take on the troubled brief.

Although not technically an MP or even a human being, the new Minister has the ideal qualifications for the post, namely the ability to go continuously in circles while allowing anybody and anything to pass unopposed. 

The new minister, whose name is still being confirmed, has been described as a central shaft with three or four metal and glass doors affixed, which is capable of rotating around a vertical axis within a cylindrical enclosure. 

The appointment is certainly big leap for the door, which was performing a more humble function in an office building in London just the other day. 

The door is also thought to be the most low profile occupant of the position yet, however, according to a government spokesman, believed to be a piece of paper ripped from Theresa May's diary and scrawled in pencil, the door should do just fine as "the scope of the job has also been greatly reduced." 

According to the same source, the door's role will be to concentrate on preventing drafts and reducing heating loss, while allowing a large number of government ministers to smoothly leave the building.

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