NUMERICALLY INSENSITIVE GRANDMA TRACKED DOWN BY GERMAN POLICE

In Germany today there are few sacred things, but one of the most sacred is numbers, in particular the number 6,000,000.

Anyone who is insensitive enough to dispute that this number applies to a certain historical category at a certain historical time is liable to be fined or even imprisoned.

Also, great old age is no defence against breaking this taboo, because whatever number of years you happen to be can't possibly be as sacred as the sacred number itself, which, as the "holy of holies," can never be questioned. In fact, being numerically insensitive in Germany is the ultimate crime, as the case of 89-year-old grandmother Ursula Haverbeck shows. 

Sentenced to eight months imprisonment for numerical insensitivity, this frail old lady went on the run by failing to report to prison. But don't worry my fellow "numerical supremacists," this evil number cruncher has now been tracked down by German police after she returned to her home:

Ursula Haverbeck, dubbed the "Nazi-Oma" (Nazi grandma) by German media, was convicted in October on eight counts of incitement and sentenced to two years behind bars. But she did not report to prison to start her sentence by an April 23rd deadline.

"After the convict failed to report to the relevant penal institution within the deadline, prosecutors in Verden on May 4th, 2018 issued an order to execute the sentence and have charged police with its implementation," prosecutors said in a statement.

The woman was later on Monday located at her home in the northwestern town of Vlotho, DPA news agency reported, citing local police and prosecutors. She was arrested and immediately transferred to prison.

Btw, locking people up for their opinions like this, is also a great way to fight fascism.

Thanks to the perseverance of German lawmakers, judges, and police, the sacred numbers of Germany will be safe for years to come. You can count on that (as long as you don't get the numbers wrong)!