BRITISH PEOPLE NOW EVOLVING INTO "HUMAN SLURRY" AT AN ACCELERATED RATE

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In the not-so-distant future, humanity will be kept in giant buckets in vast silver warehouses, while robots get on the business of efficiently buying and destroying the overproduction of the global capitalist system and maintaining all-important economic growth.

But in order for humanity to reach its final form as easily-stored human slurry, it will need brave leaders to pioneer the final stage of its evolution into utter slime-like liquidity. This will mean not only getting rid of defining human characteristics like race and gender, but also mutating into increasingly shapeless, blob-like forms.

But once again, we are proud to announce that Britain is at the cutting edge of progress, with its citizens rapidly evolving into forms more deracinated, degendered, and nebulous than all its neighbours. These characteristics -- or lack of characteristics -- will equip Brits to survive more easily as human slurry in the great automated robot economy of the 22nd century. 

More proof that Britain is on the "right side of history" was provided recently by Scottish couple Greg and Jody Rogers and their child Jayden, who are all able to effortlessly transition between genders.

As reported by the Daily Record:

A Scots couple who were named as Britain’s first transgender family say they’ve been subjected to a campaign of online abuse. Greg Rogers, who was born a woman, and Jody say trolls have plagued them since they revealed their daughter Jayden, five – who was born a boy – has decided she wants to be a girl.

Greg, 27, said: “We’ve had people saying we’re using Jayden for attention and that she just wants to be a girl because I changed sex.

“It’s ridiculous. Jayden knows nothing about my past. She just knows me as dad.”

IT worker Greg and Jody, 21, moved to Shotts, Lanarkshire, after meeting online three years ago. Single mum Jody knew from the start Greg had changed gender at age 16.

Jody said: “I had no fears. He’s just a typical man.”

In addition to making light of traditional gender roles, which were just invented by evil White males 5,000 years ago, the couple is also pioneering a futuristic blob-like aesthetic evocative of the human slurry tanks of tomorrow. 

But being a pioneer is never easy. As seen above, the couple, who use emojis as their personal pronouns, have faced small-minded prejudice. 

Jayden’s teachers and friends have accepted her transition but the couple say others have led a campaign of abuse.

Greg said: “They say it’s cruel we let her wear a dress but is it not more cruel to do nothing when you’ve got a kid who’s so adamant she’s a girl she’s ripping her hair off and banging her head off the walls?”

The pair said social workers are aware.

Jody added: “Social workers can also see Jayden is well looked after and have no concerns. All we want is Jayden to be happy and proud of who she is, whatever that might be.”

Yes, bigots, get with the plan. Soon there will be no such thing as race, gender, or even human shape, as we move relentlessly to our ultimate bucket-shaped form.

Because of great leaders like these, Scotland is now the gayest and most shapeless country in Western Europe, if not the World.

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