"SATANIC" GOAT KILLER ZUCKERBURG DEFINITELY NOT KOSHER

The Zuck doesn't give a fuck!

Sacrificing a goat is usually an important part of the Satanic community's ritualistic observances -- as virgins are in short supply these days. 

Following the bloodletting in honour of the Dark Lord of the Nether Regions, the flesh of the beast is then consumed in what seems like a relatively normal meal, often with a fine wine (I recommend a Barbaresco).

Now it appears that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg is following these time-honoured Satanic practices, as revealed by a recent interview with Twitter founder Jack Dorsey. 

When asked about his most memorable encounter with the T-shirt wearing billionaire in a recent interview with Boomer music webzine Rolling Stone, Dorsey replied:

"Well, there was a year when he was only eating what he was killing. He made goat for me for dinner. He killed the goat."

Even more shocking for those who think Zuckerburg is an observant Jew, his goat killing methods are definitely not kosher, as Jewish religious law states that an animal must be slaughtered by having its throat slit and then being allowed to bleed to death while conscious.

Equally surprising for those who think that Zuckerberg is some kind of alien life form from another planet, he did not first anally probe the goat and then suck its brains out as aliens are rumoured to do.

Not a goat-sucking alien, apparently.

Instead the CEO of the major social media company, which routinely bans users for minor "hate facts," instead used his own stun gun.

"A stun gun. They stun it, and then he knifed it. Then they send it to a butcher. Evidently in Palo Alto there’s a rule or regulation that you can have six livestock on any lot of land, so he had six goats at the time. I go, 'We’re eating the goat you killed?' He said, 'Yeah.' I said, 'Have you eaten goat before?' He’s like, 'Yeah, I love it.' I’m like, 'What else are we having?' 'Salad.' I said, 'Where is the goat?' 'It’s in the oven.' Then we waited for about 30 minutes. He’s like, 'I think it’s done now.' We go in the dining room. He puts the goat down. It was cold. That was memorable. I don’t know if it went back in the oven. I just ate my salad."

Yeh, a CEO of a major social media company with ties to the rest of "The Elite" is killing a goat with his own bare hands for unknown reasons. 

Please move along. Nothing to see here.