ARSE-GROWING WOMAN WOWS MEDICAL WORLD

In a new first for medical science, a California woman, Laura Aguilar, has pioneered a new method of growing arses using the enormous folds of fat on her body. 

Aguilar, who is of Mexican-American descent and a photographic artist, has been documenting the process in the number of photo shoots conducted in the Mojave Desert. 

"I just think off how unloved and unwanted I am in Trump's racist America, and the comfort eating allows me to pack on the pounds," she told reporters. "Then it's just a case of molding the raw material into the desired shapes, which I do by curling up next to some rocks, creating  the right mix flabby protuberances and groined grooves."

After that the arses are ready for "harvesting" by the medical fraternity, who then drill holes where required. 

They can then be used in arse transplants for overworked desk jockeys or THOTs who have been twerking too hard. The Hollywood film industry has also expressed interest in the product in order to fill up seats for the latest under-attended Hollywood blockbuster.