WOKE MAN SINGLE-HANDEDLY STOPS RACISM: MILLIONS OF "RACISTS" NOW JOBLESS
Wearing a humble baseball cap and looking beseechingly into the camera, an anonymous but very woke individual yesterday managed to end racism for all time with a simple heartfelt message written on a piece of paper.
As the image spread through social media and the internet, all who saw it suddenly realised the goodness of the eloquently brief message and -- right then and there -- racism, which had existed for millions of years, suddenly stopped.
But the downside of this momentous change is that millions of racists have now become unemployed, and no longer have jobs spreading hatred on the internet 24-7.
In fact large groups of ex-racists are now reported to be gathering in Western cities, and wandering around looking for something to do.
In Milwaukee, a huge horde or ''de-purposed" ex-racists has decided to spend their energy cleaning up litter and making homes for homeless people out of empty beer cans.
In Denver, Colorado, a teeming mass of unemployed racists thronging the streets has now started to move out into the mountains with the intention of counting all the trees and creating a database of tree locations in order to fight global warming and forest fires.
Meanwhile in Dusseldorf, Germany, a multitude of former Turk haters has been taking drag queen lessons so that they can read books about "finding yourself" and "making friends with Mr. PeePee" to small children at elementary schools.
In Britain former racists have responded to their new status by creating a human pyramid in Trafalgar Square. It is hoped to keep building the pyramid until all the unemployed racists moping around the streets of England with nothing to do are included in it.
Despite these efforts, the number of unemployed ex-racists is expected to soar to astronomical levels. Governments are desperately trying to prepare for swarms of former Jew and Black haters coming off the internet, where they have been safely and harmlessly contained for years.
In the US, a spokesman for FEMA said:
"We really didn't expect this, and to be frank it is causing enormous logistical problems. Some of my colleagues are even saying it would be just great if things could return to normal, but don't quote me on that."
The seething masses of ex-racists are also reported to be causing traffic problems, as they spill from sidewalks and interfere with former non-racists peacefully going about their business.
Millions of ex-racists with nothing to do impede the progress of this elderly man in his Pope-mobile. |
As a result of the large flocks of ex-racists milling around, a secondary problem is now developing, as male and female ex-racists are being brought into actual physical contact. The results of this are predicted to be disastrous, as a spokesman for the Green Party put it:
"Once they start hanging around with nothing to do, it is inevitable that they will start flirting with each other, and this could lead to millions of unplanned pregnancies. Today the streets are only clogged with hundreds of millions of these ex-racists, but tomorrow there could be literally billions. I blame those ignorant people who campaigned for years to end racism, which we now realise was a steady state ecosystem."
How the world is projected to look in five years time thanks to the end of racism. One gumball represents 500,000 ex-racists. |
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