BANG GOES CURE FOR CANCER AS TWO YOUNG BLACK MEN ARE STABBED TO DEATH IN LONDON

Hassan, his death a major blow for future science.

The future of humanity was left hanging in the balance tonight after two young Black men, fated to be exceptional scientists and statesmen, were stabbed to death in London.

As reported by the Guardian:

"The first victim was found with stab wounds in Bartholomew Road, Camden, at about 8.30pm. He was pronounced dead at the scene. He was named by family members as 17-year-old Abdikarim Hassan.

Officers were later called to reports of a disturbance in Malden Road, Camden, at about 10.15pm, and found 20-year-old Sadiq Adan Mohamed with serious stab wounds. He was also pronounced dead at the scene.

Hassan came to the UK from Somalia when he was two years old and was the eldest of six children, his uncle Yusuf Ahmed said.

He was a student at Westminster college and was a 'good guy' who was 'always smiling' and liked playing football, he said." 

Although it was early days, it is already clear that Hassan was a brilliant student, who, if he had not been stabbed to death in a pointless street brawl, would have gone on to captain England in the 2026 World Cup final, before discovering a cure for cancer and inventing a perpetual motion machine that would have solved all of mankind's energy problems for millennia to come. 

He would probably also have come up with a workable thesis for a Grand Unified Theory of the Universe in his lunch break. 

As for the second victim, Sadiq Adan Mohamed, just going by his name, it is more than likely that he too would have made an astounding breakthrough and contribution to human civilisation, possibly even discovering the miracle element Vibranium as depicted in "Black Panther," the recent documentary about African scientific achievement.

Luckily the future of intergalactic space travel is still assured after a third victim, an unnamed but undoubtedly brilliant future Black scientist, managed to survive a nasty shooting:

"Elsewhere in London, a 24-year-old man who was shot in the head in Westminster on Tuesday night remains in a critical condition in hospital. Two people were arrested at the scene on suspicion of attempted murder."