WORLD CELEBRATES AS SENATOR McCAIN GETS BRAIN CANCER

Following the news that renowned Neocon warmonger Senator John McCain (80) had been struck down by an aggressive form of brain cancer, some US politicians offered their condolences while others gave gentle encouragement to the stricken Senator with kind and thoughtful messages. But, in the rest of the world, it was a different story, as a spontaneous wave of celebration and jubilation broke out in many major cities and different continenets.

In Sydney, Australia, they let off fireworks and danced in the streets, while in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, a "Second Carnival" was declared to mark the auspicious occasion, with floats and costumes that mocked the dying US statesman and one-time Presidential candidate.

  

In India millions of people took to the streets to thank their god Ganesh for striking down the "World Demon" McCain. 

Among his many other roles, Ganesh is seen as the destroyer of vanity and selfish pride of the type that is thought to have typified the career of the US Senator for Arizona, the main supporter of the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, and the US destabilization of Syria, events which cost trillions of dollars and led to the deaths and displacement of tens of millions of people.

Naturally, those countries that were directly threatened by McCain's warmongering policies were most delighted at the news. In Pyongyang, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un ordered a massive march-by of all the nation's soldiers and civil servants, with floats and banners deifying the "Illustrious Peace-Bringing Cancer" and welcoming the end of the Cold War. 

In Russia, President Putin declared a national holiday and "free vodka" for anyone squatting in an Adidas tracksuit. An impressive firework display was also put on.

In Libya, one of the many countries that suffered from McCain's Neocon policies, young men took to the streets and fired into the air to show their joy. Several people were later reported killed by falling bullets, but nothing could dampen the mood of euphoria.

Even close US allies greeted the news of McCain's deadly illness with expressions of mirth and jollity. In scenes not seen since the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana, the normally reserved inhabitants of the UK held hundreds of spontaneous street parties, with flags, bunting, and sing-songs. Wagers were also placed on how many weeks McCain would survive before the grim claw of death came to reap him.