BORIS CAUGHT SNORTING CORONAVIRUS GERMS OFF A HOOKERS ARSE

In the latest setback for Boris Johnson's embattled government, the Prime Minister has been filmed snorting coronavirus germs off a hooker's arse in apparent mockery of the restrictions his government has imposed on the long-suffering British public, many of whom haven't been near the sun for two years.

In the video, acquired by one of Britain's top tabloid newspapers, Johnson can be seen laughing at the new rules that normal people have to follow, before snorting a mixture of cocaine and coronavirus germs off the unvaccinated arse of a possibly underage hooker.

The new "Plan B" rules that Brits will have to follow include wearing face masks in shops and buses, being forced to work from home with no cocoa, getting needles stuck in them if they go to a tattoo parlour, and not being allowed to talk about football in pubs. 

After ingesting the "speedball" of forbidden germs and white powder, Johnson then looks up and shouts, "I am the Lizard King, I can bally well do whatsoever I like! Rules are for prole scum, not Eton-educated Gods like me. Hurrah!" 

This latest scandal follows an incident earlier in the week where Johnson and a close aide were photographed travelling on a train completely mask-less.