FRIVOLOUS POP STAR PULLS OUT OF SENATE RACE TO CONCENTRATE ON DRUGS AND GROUPIES

"White trash" rap-rocker, Kid Rock, has revealed that his Senate run was simply a big joke, and that he had no intention of becoming an elected US official.

The news broke when Rock appeared on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show on Tuesday (24th).

"F*** no, I’m not running for Senate," Rock told Stern. "I’m releasing a new album. I’m going on tour, too. Are you f***ing shitting me?"

Rock had been signalling hard for months that he was interested in a Senate run, even appearing on stage with the same kind of podium that politicians use, and making political-style speeches against a backdrop of the American flag, before launching into his songs. 

The stunt turned out to be great publicity, with the liberal media picking up on it as an example of the "idiocracy" of Trump's America. But the media frenzy could also greatly boost sales of Rock's next album, which is due to be released soon. 

However, there could also be a backlash. Many voters and fans wanted to see him run, and will be greatly disappointed to learn that he was just dicking them around, especially if they bought "Kid Rock for Senate" merchandise at his gigs.
One possible reason that Rock decided not to stand after all, is because of his "liberal" views on drugs, which would have been a problem with his party of choice, the Republican Party. Rock has a reputation for partying hard and using drugs and alcohol.

"I don’t smoke much weed. It makes me dumb," he told one reporter. "But they should legalise and tax everything: pot, cocaine, heroin..."

He may also have been swayed in his decision to avoid politics because of the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the renewed attention to the dubious sex lives of celebrities. In the present state of "moral panic," a serious run for the Senate would have brought a lot of scrutiny to Rock's often chaotic relations with the opposite sex, and could have led to women coming forward with allegations of "harassment," "abuse," or "rape." 

TL;DR Basically a rock star can get away with a lot more shit than a politician.  

Can this really replace the thrill of listening to
another filibustering speech on tax reform?