LEFTIST SALMOND IMITATED " ROTTING ZOMBIE" TO MAKE HIMSELF MORE APPEALING TO WOMEN

Scotland's former "Thirst Minister"

The Leftist male is a pathetic creature that has no natural mate in the wild. This is why they have to acquire dictatorial power -- just to get laid! 

But there is also the extremely awkward "middle zone" located somewhere between being completely powerless incels and having the socialist police state go out and arrest women to sleep with them. 

This was the zone occupied by Alex Salmond at the height of his power. The one time leader of the SNP (Scotland's leftist civ-nat party) is now on trial for using his power as "First Minister" of the Scottish regional government to grope, fondle, and foist himself upon various women, who clearly would rather have eaten a bag of dog sick than sleep with him.

Even with the immense power he wielded, Salmond was still so disgusting to the female sex because of his Leftist physiognomy that he had to resort to some ludicrous moves in his desperate attempts to get off with women. One of these lame moves included trying to make himself more attractive to women by imitating a zombie made up of mouldering human flesh.

 As reported by Sky News:

The SNP worker, who can't be named for legal reasons, told the court she was with Salmond in his official residence of Bute House the week before Scotland's independence referendum in September 2014...

She said she had gone to the toilet and, when she returned, he was lying on the floor working on a speech. He told her to lie down beside him.

She told the court he had a copy of his speech in front of him and an extra copy. She said he didn't look up and just said "come here and work on this speech" without making eye contact.

She said she paused for a second and went to pick up the speech. She told the court she was annoyed at herself for not asking him to sit at the table. She ended up lying near him.

She said that Salmond then suddenly stood up.

"Out of the blue, he said 'have you seen that zombie movie?'

"And he said 'stand up'.

"As I stood up he stretched his arms out straight towards me and for a second or two he did an impression of a zombie walking towards me.

"He was taking a couple of clumsy steps towards me. He put his hands on my shoulders and then he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.

"He then leaned into me to kiss me on the lips.

"I raised my arms to break the connection on my shoulders."

Of course, if he had been a real zombie, his arm might have come out of its socket at this point, giving the young lady a convenient weapon with which to beat back this disgusting monstrosity. 

Zombies are vile, festering masses of rotting human offal, but they are clearly a step up from Alex Salmond, which is why the former "Thirst Minister" pretended to be one in order to get inside this young lady's panties, LOL.

Questions now have to be asked about Salmond's successor in the SNP, Nicola Sturgeon. Is this how she got her position, namely by giving into Salmond's zombie-themed advances?

Did present SNP leader and Jeanette Krankie look-a-like Nicola Sturgeon climb the slippery zombie pole to become leader?

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