TRUMP TO USE COVID-19 AS COVER FOR HUMILIATING AFGHAN DEFEAT AND PULL-OUT

When the Americans invaded the peaceful, poppy-growing country of Afghanistan in 2001, it was for one reason and one reason alone -- they wanted to turn it into a feminist-friendly, homosexual paradise where drag queen story hour arrived several decades before literacy and libraries. 

Naturally the Afghan people resisted this abomination, and put up stiff resistance, confining US and other NATO troops to heavily defended military camps, leading to their defeat.

The main problem the U.S. has is to get out of Afghanistan ASAP without it looking like what it is -- a total fuck-up costing trillions rolled up in a massive humiliating defeat. 

Now, thanks to the coronavirus outbreak, the U.S. has the chance it needs. The global pandemic is not only distracting attention from America's defeat, but it is also providing convenient cover for the U.S. military to crawl out of the country on its belly.

As reported by NBC News:

"President Donald Trump has pushed his military and national security advisers in recent days to pull all U.S. troops out of Afghanistan amid concerns about a major coronavirus outbreak in the war-torn country, according to two current and one former senior U.S. officials.

Trump complains almost daily that U.S. troops are still in Afghanistan and are now vulnerable to the pandemic, the officials said. His renewed push to withdraw all of them has been spurred by the convergence of his concern that coronavirus poses a force protection issue for thousands of U.S. troops in Afghanistan and his impatience with the halting progress of his peace deal with the Taliban, the officials said."

Let's replay that key line again:

"Trump complains almost daily that U.S. troops are still in Afghanistan and are now vulnerable to the pandemic."

Yeh, Trump is so worried about U.S. troops being killed by a virus that is weaker than the flu, has little effect on military-age men, and which he is pretty confident can be cured by hydroxychloroquine. 

A likely story! But it sounds better than: 

"Trump complains almost daily that U.S. troops are still in Afghanistan and are now vulnerable to repeated ass-whoppings from the victorious Taliban."

The U.S. is already pulling out its troops from Afghanistan in line with a "face-saving" deal made with the victorious Taliban, but the speed of the withdrawal and the growing power of the Taliban in the country has evoked memories of 1970s Vietnam, where the U.S. defeat was obvious despite another attempted face-saving deal with the victors.

The U.S. military is in the midst of a drawdown in Afghanistan already. In early March it began decreasing its total footprint from more than 12,000 to 8,600 over 135 days. But troops have been leaving the country faster than originally planned, according to two U.S. defense officials, and the U.S. is now on track to beat the original deadline.

"U.S. Forces Afghanistan continues to draw down force levels and expects to be at 8,600 U.S. troops in 135 days (mid-July) in accordance with the U.S.-Taliban agreement. USFOR-A remains committed to supporting our Afghan partners throughout the process and maintains the capabilities and authorities necessary to accomplish our objectives," said Lt. Col. Thomas Campbell, a Pentagon spokesperson.

Trump however wants this situation resolved ASAP so that voters will have more time to forget just how badly the World's leading "Superpower" was humiliated by humble goat herders and dirt farmers. 

"He is itching to get out. He's pushing the Pentagon on it," a former official said.

I bet he is.

Another reason Trump wants to pull the defeated U.S. army out of Afghanistan is because he is afraid of neighbouring Iran. Following the cowardly assassination of Iranian general Qasem Soleimani by a U.S. drone strike in January, the Iranians are also itching, but this time for revenge. The defeated U.S. forces who are still in Afghanistan present a tempting target. 

By highlighting the danger from coronavirus, however, the U.S. can pretend it is running from an "invisible enemy" instead of a visible one like the Afghanis and the Iranians. 

Never let a good crisis go to waste, indeed! 

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