AMERICA NOW THE SADDEST IT'S EVER BEEN, WILL IT KILL ITSELF?

If America had a face, it would look not unlike this.

The U.S. is the unhappiest it’s ever been in its history, according to the World Happiness Report. This is raising fears that the giant country of over three-hundred million rootless immigrants might be about to kill itself in a mass Jim-Jones-style, poisoned Koolaid drinking session. 

According to the 2019 World Happiness Report, the US has slumped to the number 19th "happiest" country in the world, meaning that it's pretty miserable now and must be wondering what it's all about or whether there's even any point getting out of bed this morning.

Making things worse is the fact that Finland, a country with one of the highest suicide rates in the World, tops the rankings. Even Britain, which is going through the hellworld of Brexit chaos and is scheduled to self-destruct in the next few days, ranks four places higher than the U.S. 

Researchers point to to the U.S.'s poor social capital and its addiction problems as a driver of its descent into self-loathing and inner darkness.

Ar reported by Forbes:

In the U.S., where prosperity is on the rise, researchers pin the blame on declines in social capital and social support and increases in obesity and substance abuse. Author Jean M. Twenge believes fundamental changes in how Americans spend their leisure time are also to blame, pointing a finger at the rise of digital media and the decline of face-to-face interactions.

Report co-author Jeffrey Sachs calls the United States a “mass-addiction society.” The prevalence of addictions — including gambling, social media use, video gaming, shopping, consuming unhealthy foods, exercising, and engaging in extreme sports or risky sexual behaviors — in American society seems to be on the rise, perhaps dramatically, he writes.

“The free-market theory taught in our universities holds that consumers know what’s best for them, with businesses efficiently and appropriately catering to those desires,” Sachs wrote. “The prevalence of addiction suggests a very different picture: that individuals may be lured into self-destructive behaviors, notably by businesses keen on boosting sales of their goods and services.”

A country's "Happiness Level" is calculated by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network using a range of data, including GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy at birth, social support from friends and family, freedom to make life choices, generosity in the form of donations to charity, and perceptions of government corruption.

None of these factors, it should be pointed out, have any demonstrable direct effect on boosting happiness, which is a largely subjective state, meaning that the U.S. could be even more miserable and close to suicide than its ranking indicates. 

The top 20 "Happy" or least miserable countries are as follows:

1. Finland (7.769)

2. Denmark (7.600)

3. Norway (7.554)

4. Iceland (7.494)

5. Netherlands (7.488)

6. Switzerland (7.480)

7. Sweden (7.343)

8. New Zealand (7.307)

9. Canada (7.278)

10. Austria (7.246)

11. Australia (7.228)

12. Costa Rica (7.167)

13. Israel (7.139)

14. Luxembourg (7.090)

15. United Kingdom (7.054)

16. Ireland (7.021)

17. Germany (6.985)

18. Belgium (6.923)

19. United States (6.892)

20. Czech Republic (6.852)

Jonestown 1978, the last time a large group of Americans were this depressed.

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