HAS PUTIN BEEN TURNED INTO A "LADY BOY" BY HIS UNFORTUNATE RELIANCE ON STEROIDS?

Revenge porn released by Ethan Ralph 

after Putin refused to have his baby

Fears are growing that Russia won't be able to start its latest war on time because its supposedly "tough guy" leader Vladimir Putin has unwittingly transformed himself into a soft willowy "ladyboy" who just wants to be taken in hand by a real male and given a good rogering and then have a bath with scented candles. 

The disturbing transformation in Russia's ruthless leader is believed to have come about due to his overreliance on steroids when he was running for President some years ago. At the time he reportedly heard people laughing at him behind his back for his small stature, delicate frame, and tiny hands.

Putin believed that shitloads of steroids and one or two trips to the gym every month would give him the physique of a real Cossack. Unfortunately it appears to have done the opposite, giving him two floppily manboobs and a wiggle in his walk.

Needless to say this could completely derail Russia's plans to pointlessly invade its neighbour Ukraine when the army finds out the full truth, namely that their "great leader" is actually more interested in handbags and shades of wallpaper than tanks and bombs n' shit.