PUTIN FACES DOWN LATEST CHALLENGE BY HAVING HEAD GRAFTED ONTO BUFFED AND MUSCULAR KANGAROO

In a move reminiscent of the dark days of Soviet science, Russian dictator, Vladimir Putin has had his head severed from his body and grafted onto a buffed, muscular kangaroo. 

It is not yet clear why the Russian leader has taken this unusual step, although geopolitical analysts believe that it is possibly motivated by his desire to face down the latest threat to his power that has arisen in Kazakhstan. 

The Central Asian Republic is a Russian puppet state, but in recent days there has been serious unrest that threatens to depose Putin's political stooges. According to Russia's Tass news agency, armed protesters surrounded the presidential residence in the main city of Almaty two days ago and set it on fire, along with the city hall.

In the past whenever Putin's geopolitical power has been threatened in any way, the Russian "strong man" has responded by posting images projecting strength, virility, and raw masculinity. 

For example, there is this famous picture of Putin on horseback, showing us his man boobs:

And who could forget this ultra-cool picture of Putin molesting a sleeping tiger?

However, the Russian leader's latest piece of tough guy posturing, involving hours of difficult surgery and one of the toughest Joeys you have ever seen in your life, is a new high watermark in post-Soviet imperialist signalling.