Burn baby, burn!
Lovers of Total War and body-bag-counting fetishists were celebrating today after their 'main man' Tony Blair was rewarded for his services to death, pestilence, famine, and deceit by being given a nice shiny knighthood by the Queen, who, according to internet rumor, may actually have feasted on the innocent hearts of his countless victims.
The former British Prime Minister, who lied like a rug to the British people in 2003 to get Britain and its pathetic sidekick America to invade the innocent and peaceful land of Iraq, will not just be made a paltry knight like shitbags Sir Elton John and Sir Richard Branson, but will actually get to be a high-ranking Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.
This is the equivalent to the position that Darth Vader held in the Galactic Empire in the movie Star Wars. It means that Blair will now be allowed to march around the corridors of Whitehall choking the life out of whomsoever he wishes, leaving their crumpled remains in a disgusting pile for his henchmen to clear away later.
Also, once Britain has built its fleet of Death Cruisers, "Knight Companion of the Garter Blair" will be allowed to scour the Universe and select helpless planets to incinerate at random. It is believed that this will kick off a cycle of endless wars that could last for more than ten million years.
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