Monday, 29 October 2018

(((DAILY STORMER))) SHABBOS GOY AZZMADOR ON THE RUN FOR "MALICIOUSLY RELEASING GAS"


It can be revealed that the Jewish-run (((Daily Stormer)))'s main shabbos goy Azzmador, an old boomer with an unkempt beard and a pot belly, is on the run from the police, after being charged with "maliciously releasing gas" at the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville last year. Remember, goys, it's never a good idea to Nazi-LARP in meatspace. 

The charges are believed to have been made in June. 

In a video that was posted the day after Charlottesville but which has been taken down (predictably), Azzmador reportedly referred to the incident and effectively confessed: 

"It was as glorious as you can personally imagine. I personally, literally gassed half a dozen k***s. I emptied out a bottle this tall can of pepper gel."

No doubt this video is now in the hands of the legal authorities, along with all the other evidence. 

Azzmador, whose real name is Robert Ray, is a vital cog in the (((Daily Stormer))) machine. As a shabbos goy, he runs the site and posts its content on Jewish sabbaths when both the site's editor (((Andrew Anglinberg))) and its main tech guy (((Andrew Aurenheimer a.k.a. Weev))) are unable to work due to Jewish religious law. 

Under that law, practising Jews are not allowed to do certain types of work, known as "melakha," on the Sabbath, but are allowed to have non-Jews perform these tasks on their behalf. The tasks are thought to include shitposting, trolling, making simple memes, and rewriting news stories with lots of K-words and N-words. 

Azzmador is the only normal-sized person at the Daily Stormer, as all the other staff, including Weev and Anglin are tiny midgets, all under five feet tall. 
Azzmador is also the site's main podcaster. This is  because Anglin's high, nasally whine makes him unpleasant to listen to for long periods, and, frankly speaking, makes him sound way too Jewish for a site that is trying to LARP as Neo-Nazi in order to discredit the Alt-Right and White Nationalism in general.  

This is not the first time Azzmador has been in trouble with the law. In the past he has racked up charges for disorderly conduct, assault, public intoxication, drunk driving, theft, avoiding arrest, and possession of unlicensed and prohibited weapons. 

It is thought that (((Anglin))) and (((Weev))) are now trying to save Azzmador from the vengeance of the law by constructing a mighty Golem. This is an animated anthropomorphic being, magically created from mud or clay and magically brought to life by ancient Hebrew chants and meme magic. 

Don't worry Azzmador, help is on the way!

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