LONDON ON RIOT ALERT AS FRIED CHICKEN RUNS OUT

London was on riot alert yesterday after it was revealed that the capital's largest fried chicken outlet KFC had completely run out of precious supplies of fried chicken.

The shortages were caused by a breakdown in the supply chain caused by the German delivery supplier DHL -- possibly under orders from Angela Merkel and Jean-Claude Juncker, who are keen to bring "impudent little island of England to its knees before the mighty Euro-Reich." 

A steady supply of the highly addictive fast food is thought to be essential to preventing riotous behaviour by London's Black and Afro-Caribbean community, who have frequently rioted in the past. The rich cholesterol, high sodium content, and vitamins, like Provitamin A and Vitamin B11, are thought to have a calming and soothing effect on people of a Sub-Saharan origin for reasons that scientists are still attempting to explain without getting fired from their jobs. 

Due to the shortage, KFC said that 700 of its 900 UK stores, including most of those in London, had been forced to suddenly close down. 

"We’ve brought a new delivery partner on-board," a spokesman for the company said, "but they’ve had a couple of teething problems — getting fresh chicken out to 900 restaurants across the country is pretty complex...We know that this might have inconvenienced some of you over the last few days, and disappointed you when you wanted your fried chicken fix — we’re really sorry about that."

Making matters worse is the recent impact of the movie "Black Panther," which has been thrilling Black audiences around the World and implanting unhealthy "Wakanda" memes in their minds. 

Proud Black Qween hallucinating about her favourite "soul food."