AID WORKERS BLAMED FOR BRAVELY FILLING GAPING HOLES IN HAITIAN ECONOMY

Oxfam - filling hungry mouths in the Third World.

Oxfam, the UK based charity that spends most of its money on itself, is in damage control mode today after it was revealed that some of its staff decided to stimulate the Haitian economy on their own by creating jobs for local women in the terrible aftermath of the devastating 2010 earthquake.

The heroic Oxfam workers, including the charity's director for Haiti, Roland Van Hauwermeiren, decided to supplement their normal activities of handing out stale food supplies and pissy blankets, by renting out a villa and -- at great risk to their own personal health -- creating semi-skilled "hostessing" jobs that lifted an unknown number of young and surprisingly nubile women out of poverty. 

Because of food shortages and outbreaks of disease, many of the young women in question were particularly keen to get something in their mouths and be subjected to various kinds of injections.

Envious of the tremendous success that this impromptu scheme had on erecting the previously flaccid Haitian economy, other charity professionals are now counter-signalling the aid workers. The UK Charity Commission has been particularly scathing, saying that their behaviour had "absolutely no place in society," forgetting for a moment that Haiti is not so much a working society as a giant trash heap with a few ill-defined rules,

The Haitian government, which prefers to let its people wallow in poverty while diverting any charitable donations to its own corrupt coffers, was also highly critical of the charity workers' go-it-alone efforts, ignoring the massive good this job creation scheme must have done.   

Haiti's ambassador in London, Bocchit Edmond, criticised the charity workers for failing to inform the Haitian authorities and giving them a cut.

"It is really shocking, it is shameful, and it is unacceptable," he told reporters. "I think Oxfam should look into itself deeply if they want to rebuild that trust they had."

Since the events happened, the aid workers have been dismissed and refused references, while some press sources have also alleged a "cover-up" by Oxfam.

Meanwhile, it is not yet known whether Mr. Van Hauwermeiren and his brave colleagues had acquired any life-threatening STDs during their heroic efforts at "pumping" new life into the Haitian economy.

Port-au-Prince shortly before the earthquake struck.