ARE DOLPHINS REALLY GAY?

There have been disturbing reports of large scale gay behaviour among dolphins off the Western coast of Australia. 

The reports come from researchers at the Mandurah Dolphin Research Project in Western Australia, who observed several groups of dolphins engaging in what appeared to be homosexual behavior after their mating season was over.

"These dolphins, all but three of them juveniles, organized themselves in four subgroups in which they were observed engaging in socio-sexual behavior that included mounting and genital contact between individuals," Krista Nicholson, of Murdoch University, told the Mandurah Mail.

OK, not actual bum sex, but still pretty worrying. 

They even seem to mimic gay cruising behaviour in an attempt to vary their "sexual partners" as much as possible.

"The subgroups joined, frequently forming a large group, and then split again in different group compositions."

But how widespread is this behaviour? And is the meme true that dolphins are just gay sharks?

"This is typical behavior seen in other bottlenose dolphin populations," Nicholson said. "In Shark Bay, where male dolphins form lifelong alliances, socio-sexual interactions between males are more common than between females or between the sexes."

While gay activists and their enablers are sure to use this phenomenon to promote and normalize homosexuality, and then roll it out for consumption in schools and kindergartens, none of the actual explanations for this behaviour fit in with the gay agenda. 

One common explanation for this apparently "homosexual behavior" is that it plays a role in the development of social bonds between male dolphins, helping them to establish dominance and alliances, etc. 

The obvious implication here is that social relations between human males should be constructed in the same way. But this is clearly ludicrous, as, luckily, human males have many other methods of bonding without swimming around rubbing their genitals against each other:

Play sports

Go shooting

Practice marching

Enjoy nighttime activities

Unlike dolphins, there are a 1001 ways for male humans to bond without actually eating da poo poo. So, how does that even advance the gay agenda?

But what of other explanations for this "gay" behaviour?

Janet Mann, who has studied dolphins at Shark Bay for decades, and wrote the book "Homosexual Behaviour in Animals," gives another possible reason for the apparently "gay" behaviour of dolphins. It is for males to practice mating with females!!!

Sexy female dolphin

This sounds plausible, after all, it's no easy feat trying to maneuver your dolphin dick into a female aquatic animal moving at an average speed of 20 to 25 miles per hour. You might need some practice -- a LOT of practice -- even if the dolphin dong has certain advantages, according to Neatorama:

"Here's something you probably don't know about Flipper: he has retractable penis. And if that's not cool enough, here's something else: his penis is prehensile. And it swivels. In fact, a male dolphin can use his penis to explore objects just like a hand... Another hushed-up fact is that male dolphins have a ravenous sexual appetite: they often try to hump inanimate objects and even other animals like sea turtles."

So, first of all, what we are seeing with dolphins is strictly speaking not even gay behaviour. It could be described as "pan-sexual," perhaps, although it's not even entirely sexual, more sensual or just sensory. 

Just as gay men use their anuses for the sexual purpose of being fucked up the arse and for the non-sexual purpose of defecation, so the dolphin uses his penis for the sexual purpose of mating and the non-sexual purpose of exploring his world and shaking hands with his friends. 

The so-called gay "sexual" behaviour of dolphins is about as "sexual" as a gay man taking a dump. In other words not sexual at all.

But even if we agree that the activity is sexual, it is only sexual in the sense that it is practice for a heterosexual encounter -- it is "teleologically heterosexual." 

It is not clear how this fits into the gay agenda, as human males have many methods to prepare themselves for an encounter with a young lady, none of which involve getting bummed off a homo with AIDs and other STDs that are commonly associated with human homosexual behaviour.

So, the "dolphins are just gay sharks" meme is completely fake. 

But even if dolphins were gay and literally fucked each other up their aquatic anuses and brown bungholes, what would this prove and how would it serve as a guide for human behaviour? 

Taking examples from the animal world is a slippery slope and could lead to some interesting places. Neatorama, for example, includes one other interesting fact about dolphin sexuality: 

"When a pack of male dolphins happen upon a female, often times they will attempt to force her to mate."

He could smell fish, apparently.