RICHARD SPENCER THROWN OUT OF GYM FOLLOWING CONFRONTATION WITH CAT LADY

Is nothing sacred we ask ? Can't a man lift metal to the sky gods without being accosted by muffin-topped Cat Ladies? Well this is the question Alt Right leader and chad nationalist Richard Spencer is probably asking himself, as the news spreads that he’s been thrown out of a gym for the crime of being...well, Richard Spencer.

According to cat lady C. Christine Fair, an associate professor at Georgetown University’s Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, who likes to use (((echo brackets))) round her name on Twitter, she confronted Richard whilst he was working on his bicep definition. 

She wrote in Tumblr that she "loudly identified Spencer as a Neo-Nazi," and she anticipated the gym would kick her out for confronting him. 

This is an interesting critique from a woman who supports every Neo-Con policy down to drone attacks that kill an estimated 90% unintended victims. Check this video for more on this.

Also, although looking like an animated dumpling with fat shoulders, she criticised Spencer's appearance.

"When I approached this flaccid, sorry excuse of a man and asked ‘Are you Richard Spencer,' this pendulous poltroon said 'No. I am not.'"

Fair worked up such a head of indignant steam that she "exploited the full range of my first amendment entitlements by telling him that this country does not belong to white men." 

Fair's weight training consists of lifting heavy writing implements like this one.

She told BuzzFeed News on Sunday that she was surprised that the gym decided to terminate his membership. 

"I think the gym ultimately made a business decision," she said. 

Fair then justified her behaviour. 

"As a (((white woman))), I find his membership at this gym to be unacceptable. I found his membership at this gym to be an unfair burden upon the women and people of color–and white male allies of the same."

Many have since called her own Whiteness into question by referring to her self-avowed Jewishness, which, combined with Leftist ideology, is often toxically anti-White.

While we wait for Richard's full account of the encounter, I would like to offer my speculations of what transpired. In this version the puffy Jewess saw Richard across a crowded gym, their eyes met. She thought, "He’s so dreamy in kind of edgy based kind of way." He thought "Damn, she needs a personal trainer." 

She then walked across the gym, and spoke breathlessly (like she’d just run 5km on a treadmill). 

"Hi, my name is Christine and I wondered whether you’d like to join me and my husband. Yeah that’s him. We both think you’re really hot, he’s a submissive and likes to watch. Would you be interested?"

Richard: “Staff, do your jobs, I’m being harassed by a sexual degenerate and her cuck boyfriend.”

We on the Alt Right know which version we find more believable, but like Matt Parrot says, "Until we figure out what the hell's going on, I'm going to refrain from hitting the gym."

We mean no disrespect to actual muffins by publishing this picture.