2.9 MILLION INDIANS CLUB TOGETHER TO PAY WOMAN TO "SHOW BOBS AND VEGANA"

Following the case Giselle, a 19-year-old part-time American model, who recently sold her virginity to an Abu Dhabi businessman for $2.9 million, we can now reveal that several million Indian non-businessmen have clubbed together to buy the virginity of another young Western woman with student debt problems. 

The woman, an 18-year-old known only by her her made-up, French-sounding modelling name of Chantelle, said she needed the money that the sale would raise to see her "through college" and the first few months of working in the fast food industry upon her graduation.

Unlike the arrangement with Giselle, which will involve full penetrative sex with one man, Chantelle's arrangement will merely require her to "remove cloth" and "show vegana and bobs" over social media, with Indian each man paying a single rupee. 

After the "vegana" and "bobs" have been fully viewed, there will be a prize draw, with the winner flown out to America to meet Chantelle personally, whereupon he will be permitted to "suck on bobs" until "milk truck arrives," an event that will be livestreamed to the other members of the cartel.

As for Giselle (above), things may not end quite so well. Writing in a comment thread on Facebook, Alex Fontana of the Fascist Pigs Podcast (now on indefinite hiatus) said she may be in for quite a surprise when she gets to the Middle East:

"When she gets to the Middle East, I'm sure after deflowering her various edifices the sultan of sodom will no doubt feel enough buyers remorse to proceed to get his money's worth, filling her thot whore slut mouth with a funnel for a flowing cornucopia of kebab flavoured scat-icles of him and his inbred cousins."

This, alas, is what the student debt apocalypse is doing to our once noble womenfolk. In my view this is the best argument for closing down the universities or at least banning women from them, at least until, in President Trump's brave words, "we figure out what the hell is going on."